Sunday, October 7, 2012

A Jaunt into Sadness

So when things are dark.  It may be circumstances.  It may be hormones, or mental illness.  It may be that time of the year that brings darkness to your heart.

Recently, I was sad.  I didn't know why, then was reminded of the significance of that date.  But it spiraled from there.  Someone in my life didn't respond as I'd hoped, and I was left feeling deserted.  sad. alone. and like the circumstances were hopeless.

I've been a believer for a long time.  I know better.  My inbox was inundated with encouraging posts and blogs.  I knew they were true.  I reread  things on  this blog!  But my heart remained torn, the tears kept coming.  The pain beyond tears tore my heart for a week.   And worse yet, a situation that I had looked forward to and longed for was tainted by unexpected obligations and duties that others should have carried out, but didn't.

Truly, I tried to surround myself with music and words from the Word.  My heart cried out to God in psalm-like fashion.  But the sadness would not leave.

Then the lifting came-in  sharing the joy of others, listening to others that I loved laugh.  And smiling to myself.  And remembering the work that God was doing in their lives to bring about such a delightful sound.

Remember.  God tells us to remember.  He tells us to rejoice.  I failed in this this go-round, but I suspect that unless the Father calls me home, I will have another opportunity and soon. So I need to ask forgiveness, and purpose in my heart to, by grace, be obedient next time.

What has helped rise your heart when walking through darkness?

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